“I need to feel confident, sexy, grateful and successful—when I want. Give me a strategy.” That is exactly what a close friend asked of me a few days ago. My reply, “Easy.”
While you may think that your emotions are an unconscious reaction, actually, our emotional state is a conditioned behavior pattern to what we see, hear and feel. With a little practice, we can choose our emotional state every second. How successful are you at this?
Not sure this is true; try this fun activity for yourself. Now, just like life, play at 100%. (Of course, everyone is going to think you’re crazy at work. But then again, when you show up for work and stay in a great mood all day because you’ve master this technique, your co-workers will know you are crazy. So, it doesn’t really matter.) Think of something you know that you’re good at doing. I mean when you really kick ass! Now, picture it clearly; hear what people said; feel the same emotions. Replay it in your mind as if it is happening from start to finish, from start to finish, and from start to finish. (STOP reading and do it.)
Welcome back. Sitting straighter, wearing a smile, feeling more confident? You are if you played at 100%. Our brain, when we are fully associated, cannot tell the different between the past, present and the future. When we are fully associated, our mind and body link causes us to feel the same emotions as if something is happening right now. If you’re catching on, here’s the money: if you practice associating with positive emotions, then you can feel those positive emotions whenever and wherever you want. See, most of us practice our negative emotions frequently—road rage, venting on Facebook, complaining about the weather, bitching about work—and it goes on and on. We’re really good at the negative stuff. Just like muscle memory, the more you practice recalling these states, the quicker and faster you can access these states. Now, you need to do it for those positive states such as confident, sexy, grateful and successful.
It’s easy—use the strategy above, pick three memories for a specific emotion like confidence, and each time you repay the memory, squeeze, rub or move your hand in the same way. You are conditioning yourself to access that resourceful state when you need it. With a little practice, you will instantly access those feeling when you touch your hand in that same way. Still doubting it? You probably already do this occasionally. Ever wring your hands when nervous or ball your hands into fists when angry? Well, the same process works in reverse! It’s time to make a daily habit to feel confident, sexy, grateful and successful. It’s easy.
As always, I wish you the best to make each day count!~Tyke
PS. How to make a habit you ask? Well, we will talk a little about that next time.