Conflict to Opportunity

Want to learn the secrets of transforming conflict at work or home into opportunity? If so, then you must master emotionally-charged conversations.

Emotionally-charged conversations are so much more than a conflict.  Whether you are pitching an idea at work, discussing your marriage or giving advice to your child, you are involved in an emotionally-charged conversation.  While we receive little to no training to for these conversations, these are the most important and memorable conversations in our life.  To handle life’s most important moments, we must understand emotionally-charged conversations.

Emotionally-charged conversations touch upon things that are important to people.  Sounds simple, and it is, except this means that the conversation is also important to you.  Your elephant (the reactive part of your brain) rises up and prevents you from being your best. (See Rider and Elephant explanation click here.) Herein, lays the first secret of handling emotionally-charged conversations.

You can control your elephant with two easy methods: 1) Take deep breaths, focusing on your exhalation and 2) Be curious to uncover what about the issue is so important to the other person.  When you exhale, you trigger your relaxing mode (warning techi-word:  your parasympathetic nervous system).  Being curious keeps the logical part of you, your, Rider, in control.  By staying in problem solving mode, you discover the other person’s needs through proactive listening.  (What is proactive listening? That’s for next time.)

The key to unlocking the door of conflict and opening it to opportunity resides in understanding what’s driving the other person’s emotions. Once someone feels understood, their emotion subsides, turning an emotionally-charged conversation into a conversation

 As always, I wish you the best to make each day countTM!

~Tyke Crowley